Celine in repose, 2021
Over the last year in quarantine, Celine and I have gotten much closer than we had been the previous 3 years. For months, around midday, she would come into my office and sit at my feet and demand my attention. I thought for a long time she was angling to be fed, so her former 6pm wet food meal became 5pm, then 4pm, then 3pm, to now about 1:52pm every day.
But then it became obvious that being fed was not actually all she wanted. She wanted me to hang out with her, but only in the spots she wanted to hang out. We couldn’t sit together on the small couch in my office because…it’s not big enough? But we could sit on my floor, with my back against the couch and she could sprawl out next to me. Doing this means I cannot use my regular computer setup with the larger monitor which is annoying, but it also means I don’t have to sit in the old IKEA dining room chair I use as an office chair that makes my knees and shoulders hurt.
Celine’s preferred WFH setup
Sometimes sitting on the floor in my office is not enough. Sometimes she prefers that we sit on the guest room bed together. I’m not sure how I managed to figure this out, but I’m glad I did. The guest room is actually my favorite room in the house and I generally spend very little time here, so the few hours I now spend here most afternoons gives me a chill, relaxed workday vibe that I hadn’t realized I craved.
Co-workers, 2021
These co-working afternoons are the most time Celine and I have ever spent together. Most of our relationship has been, honestly, as romantic rivals in the household. We are jealous of one another, cautious of each other’s intentions, alert to each other’s whereabouts. If looks could kill, any time Celine caught me kissing or hugging my husband, I would be dead. If we are sitting too close to one another on the couch, she will come up and sit between us, only for a moment, to let us know that she sees us and she does not approve. She has an incredibly expressive face and almost cartoonish body - big and rippling, like a Disney villain cat. She doesn’t make any movements or decisions unless she knows where she is going, how she is getting there, and knows she can get there successfully. This is the opposite of our other cat, Nico, who is so curious and interested in whatever anyone is doing, he will do things Celine would absolutely never do, like chase a vacuum cleaner or jump off the deck.
Lately it feels like we have been spending too much time together - I feel overly attuned to her presence and her moods, which in turn affect my own presence in the house and my moods. It’s a strange feeling that I am not properly conveying, but the constant circling of one another during the day, coupled with this urgency I feel to make sure she is, at all times, as happy and comfortable as felinely possible, makes me feel kind of crazy.
This is not an interesting or unique observation; everyone feels this way, has felt this way, for months. For those of us lucky to just be home, every mundane aspect of our lives feels simultaneously heightened but also numbing. I probably feel particularly attuned to Celine’s daily life because for the last 13 months I’ve basically been living like a house cat too: entertaining myself with mindless tasks and listless lounging until my next meal.
weekly wanderings
I am obsessed with Hunter Harris’s newsletter, which today led me here and here (many of you know I am obsessed with The Young Pope and The New Pope, which includes their soundtracks)
Despite the plethora of problematic things with it, I feel like my brother would have ironically loved White Boy Summer
This helps me understand a lot of things, and reminds me of this, which has done the same thing